My Story…

I’ve been sitting here for a while, thinking about what to write here for you, because it really does mean so much that you’re here with me today, and I want nothing more than to touch your heart, in hope to help you on this journey, and I ask you to forgive me if this is not quite the ‘my story’ section you’d expect, but having spent so many years not being able to speak my truth, silencing myself to keep all those around me happy, I wanted so much for this to come from my heart, unedited, unapproved just real and raw

Even with how far I have come on my journey, it’s sad to say I can still write with feelings of fear… fear of what people might think, fear of what people might say, and even fear of what people might do. Having pushed my true thoughts and feelings aside for so much of my life, I can’t tell you how hard it hit when I came to the sad realisation that I actually hardly knew myself, and it was in that moment, that I made a solemn promise to myself, that wasn’t acceptable to me anymore, it was destroying me and that had to change

This journey from here on, is about me and YOU. Having spent years sticking at things I really shouldn’t have stuck at, putting myself through more and more pain, trying to fix things (people) that didn’t even know they’re needing fixing, supressing, ignoring and abusing my own thoughts, feelings and emotions, just to keep others happy, I just couldn’t sit quietly anymore, and I hope that by me sharing my voice, can inspire and encourage you to share yours. The world needs YOU

When I arrived at the day that I started to have thoughts that I no longer wanted to be here, not because I didn’t love my life, but because of what was happening outside of me, things that were controlling and negatively impacting my happiness and well-being. I knew something had to change. I had to change

I can remember sobbing on my Sisters’ shoulder, telling her how ‘broken’ I was, seeing the sadness in her eyes . I had literally become unrecognisable. It was then that I’d finally decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and found myself facing the most horrendous void, a void that risked me going back, risked me staying where it felt familiar and ‘comfortable’, risking me staying in a life that truly wasn’t mine

When you have spent so many years bending, flexing yourself trying to fit in, prioritising everyone else’s needs, wants, wishes and desires over your own, accepting situations, people, circumstances that don’t make you feel good, it’s no wonder that you’re left feeling empty, lost and alone, like you don’t know who you are anymore – your identity has gone

I’d seen and felt the RED FLAGS but was choosing to ignore them. I felt that if only I stay, if only I try one more time, it’ll change, I can fix it, it’ll get better, they’ll change, yet the truth is it doesn’t and they don’t. I’d been ignoring those ‘nudging’ feelings, the ones that were trying to let me know things were NOT OK. It sadly took me losing the whole left hand side of my face to finally realise that I had to be prepared to do whatever it takes, at whatever cost, in order to SET MYSELF FREE

It has taken every bit of courage to keep moving forward, I honestly know how painful this journey is, but instead of me now acting in FEAR, I am acting in FAITH that this was all part of the path and journey I was meant to take to bring us together today.

‘She Sparkles’ is here to comfort you, to let you know that you’re not alone

‘She Sparkles’ is here to inspire you, to help you recognise and act on the red flags

‘She Sparkles’ is here to empower you, to start re-building your beautiful life